Happy Friday Everyone,
This turned into a bit of a heart to heart, so bear with me and grab a cup of coffee while reading this..
“I got the boy, she got the man” (in reverse:)
I heard Jana Kramer’s song “I Got the Boy” on the radio the other day and the lyrics hit me hard. I’ve heard it before quite a few times, but this time it really struck me. It doesn’t really describe my current life, where I’m hoping I will eventually be the girl who got the man but it does stand out to me. It hits home in more of a reverse way…
Most of you know that my boyfriend is in the military. He has been in the Army for over 7 years and during that time he served two deployments in Afghanistan. Even though he is currently serving in the Army Reserves, the military is still quite a big part of our relationship. Especially since his contract is ending this spring and he is still contemplating on whether to extend it. We have been dating for about 8 months now and everything has been going great and things are starting to get more and more serious. We recently decided to move in with each other this coming May.
In the military blogging community, there are so many great blogs and posts that feature the struggles, the joys, survival guides and the hardships of having their husbands or significant others deployed. I have found myself to enjoy reading these posts and have a bittersweet wish of wanting to experience a deployment. Don’t ask my why but I am jealous of my boyfriends ex who was with him during one of his deployments. I envy her, I wish I could have given him the support she failed to do. I find myself constantly wishing I was his girl while he was facing one of the toughest and hardest times of his life. I wish I could have been there to support him through both deployments, being his rock and foundation at home. Sending him love letters and emails to help motivate him and boost up his confidence. I wish I was the girl, who found myself missing him like crazy, counting down the days till he will visit on leave or come home. I wish I was that girl who waited by her phone for days hoping to hear a phone call from him. When he does have the opportunity to call, I wish I could feel the rush of love, relief and happiness from hearing his voice. Call me crazy, but I wish I could have been with him through a deployment.
“I find myself constantly wishing I was his girl while he was facing one of the toughest and hardest times of his life”
I know some might say that I am indeed crazy for wanting to be with him during a deployment and that’s okay. I also know that if I was with him during a deployment, it wouldn’t be like Hollywood- full of a long distance romance of bliss. It just wouldn’t. It would be hard, it would be tough, and knowing myself… I would be worried sick about him. However, my love for him would withstand and I know we would work through it. I just find myself wishing that I was the girl who was there for him during his deployments, but instead I find myself being the woman helping him transition from the end of his Army career to his new civilian life.
Now don’t get me wrong… I love the role I’m in, I wouldn’t change it for the world. I know that he will need me once he does end his contract with the Army and moves toward focusing on his career which he is currently finishing up school for. I’m more than ready to support him. I have come to a realization, that this might be a bigger part of his life then being deployed, and I’m up for the challenge. The military has been his family for so many years. I never knew how much of an impact and role the military has on it’s soldiers, until I met my boyfriend. It is a unique bond that he has with the military and his fellow soldiers, one that is very hard to explain but is very evident. Although, I still wish I could have been with him when the military had a huge impact on his life. I wish I could have been there to see it and experience it. I wish I could have shown him support and love during that time.
“I just find myself wishing that I was the girl who was there for him during his deployments, but instead I find myself being the woman helping him transition from the end of his Army career to his new civilian life”
I am excited for the future with my soldier at my side, even if I am the woman he has chosen to be with towards the end of his military career. If he does or doesn’t decide to extend his military career I will be with him by his side regardless of what decision he makes. I love him and I love seeing his passion for the Army and his soldiers. I’m glad I get to be with him and hear all of his fun past times during his Army career and deployments. I am also glad I get to care for him and help him through times when he reminisces the hardships of the deployments. It can be an enjoyable role at times and a tough one at times, but in the end it is worth it.
Like I said earlier, it is a bittersweet wish and I feel like I missed out on a very important time of his life. However, I need to learn to accept the fact that I’m not the girl who was there during his deployment and that is perfectly okay. What really matters is I am with him now and I need to focus on our current present relationship. I know that we will share many memories adventures and even hardships together in the future. I need to look forward to those and cherish our own memories together. I am happy and extremely thankful to be in his life and be the other girl, the one who “has the man.”
Have you been in a similar situation that I am in? How do you handle it? Does Jana’s song bring back any memories for you? Would love to hear your stories and advice!